One Tent, Two Sleeping Bags, Three Guys
by Coriana
Summary: There is a chance of rain, so Monk, John and Yasu volunteer to spend the night keeping watch over the microphone during a case. It'll be fun, like a camping trip. Until Yasu locks them out of the car. - Rated T for crude humor. Started from a prompt.
1. This Is Not How I Planned It

Title: This is Not How I Planned It

Word Count: 1,184

Prompt: Three people from the same office thrown together under canvas for one night. It's raining. There's no booze. There's only two sleeping bags.

* * *

><p>"It's crucial that this piece doesn't get wet. I supplied you with a second tent to cover it with just in case it started raining." The thunder in the distance seemed to punctuate Naru's statement.<p>

"Yes, the tent is in my car," John said, helping Monk set up the three-man tent.

"It'll be just like camping," Yasu said, grinning from ear to ear.

"This isn't a vacation, kid, it's work," Monk said, securing the pole in the tent. "Finished," he announced.

"On an off note," Naru said, "Stay out of the cabin at all costs, we could be dealing with a potentially harmful spirit." Naru started back to the white van, where Lin was waiting to take them both back to the hotel.

And thus the two drove off, leaving the three in the dense woods with the cozy little two room cabin that they couldn't enter unless they wanted to be killed.

But someone had to stay and take care of the lone microphone as it picked up whatever ghostly noises it could.

Of course the girls hadn't been considered when the mission came to light. And Lin and Naru hadn't seemed to even ponder it as an option that they would do it.

Originally it had just been John and Monk that would do the stake out, but Yasu had tagged aboard because it had sounded 'like fun'.

And as dusk fell, the three stood at the house they couldn't enter, by the tent that was large enough to accommodate all three, which was close to the mic and its roomy electrical box.

"Well," Monk said, lacing his hands behind his head, "We better get that other tent set up before it gets too dark to see."

John tugged at the door to his car. "Uh," he grunted, pulling a bit harder.

Monk stared at John struggling with the door. "I'll pretend that doesn't mean what I think it means."

Yasu looked through the passenger window and spotted the keys in the ignition. "Yep, it means just that."

"Who was in the car last?" John asked, eyeing Monk.

"I've been setting up the tent for the passed twenty minutes. I haven't been anywhere near the car."

"Um," Yasu said, raising his hand. "It was me. I closed it when I took out Monk and my sleeping bags."

"That means my sleeping bag is still in the trunk…" John said.

"Along with the tent…" Yasu mumbled.

"And the cooler with dinner in it…" Monk finished.

A streak of lightning lit up the sky, causing all of them to jump.

"What are we going to do? The equipment is going to get wet," John said, holding out his hand to see if there were raindrops.

"Maybe if we call Naru he can call a locksmith…" Yasu said, "Or we can call the locksmith ourselves so no one knows what happened."

"My cell phone is in the car," John said, leaning his forehead against the glass.

"I say we break the window," Monk said, already holding a thick branch and calculating where the best hit at the glass would be.

"Takigawa-san! Please don't!" John yelled, grabbing Monk's arm before it could do anything fatal.

Monk mumbled something and dropped the branch.

The wind started to make the trees rustle, picking up speed as the storm closed in on them.

"The equipment," John gasped.

"This is not going how I planned it," Monk said.

"Not really how I planned it either," Yasu said.

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't come with."

Before Yasu could respond, they heard the sound of rain starting to pitter-patter in the distance.

They all ran to save the microphone.

_*.*_

"So, we only have two sleeping bags, and we're sharing the tent with a microphone," Monk said, sitting cross-legged on the ground.

Even though it had taken twenty minutes to set up the tent, they had all moved it in a matter of five minutes to avoid Naru's wrath because they had fail to take care of the microphone.

But now they were right up against the 'harmful' little log cabin. The only thing separating them was the screen.

"How is this going to work…?" Monk said, gesturing to the two rolled up bags.

"It won't be hard," Yasu said. "We spread out the first one then we lay the other one over us."

"So, we're all going to be sleeping together…" Monk said.

"Yeah. Like brothers," Yasu grinned.

"I wish I had some alcoholic substance to drink right now."

Outside, the rain started to come down even harder, if that was possible. Thunder and lightning repeatedly went off, making the whole tent light up.

"I wonder how the microphone is going to pick up anything above that," Monk said.

"I'm sure there's varying levels of vibrations that Lin can bring to the surface to listen to," Yasu said.

"Right…"

"I hope the tent doesn't blow away," John said. The other two went silent; the matter had not actually crossed their mind.

"Ah, we'll be okay," Yasu said, "This is a very heavy-duty tent. Sturdy, waterproof. Everything that we need right now."

_Thwack! _

They all looked up to the top of the tent, where the noise had originated.

_Rip!_

Then they all watched dumbstruck as a major leak started pouring through the tear, a tree branch poking into the hole.

Yasu and John jumped up to dry the equipment and Monk ran out to find something to catch the water with.

_*.*_

"Couldn't you have found something…smaller? Maybe a flowerpot, perhaps?" Yasu asked.

"If you don't like it, you go out in the rain and lightning and find something." Monk said, debating whether or not he should take off his wet coat when he felt the cold starting to seep through.

"I know, it's just that…it's a little more crowded in here, now."

The microphone and its electrical box was now accompanied by the small washtub that Monk had somehow dragged in. They had turned the three-man tent into a one-man tent in less then forty-five minutes.

The main part of the storm had passed, but the rain still poured down heedlessly. "I hope we can get a refund on this tent," John said, staring at the hole that was dripping freely into the washtub.

The three sat in the little available room they had left. John sitting between Monk and Yasu.

"What did you say happened to the other sleeping bag?" Monk asked.

"Well, John and I were so busy protecting the microphone that we didn't realize that the bag had been under the leak. And it was mine, too…"

"Not that it matters, now. There isn't enough room to even sleep." Monk raised an eyebrow at John, "Are you still sure about not breaking into your car?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm still sure. Sorry."

They were quiet for a little while, watching the drops fall into the washtub.

"I hope nothing else happens," Yasu said, "Because then I'll have to sit in your lap, Monk."

"If you try to do something like that, kid, you are going to be sleeping outside…"


	2. Sorry, John

Title: Sorry, John

Word Count: 865

* * *

><p>"Five thousand eight hundred fifty-two, five thousand eight hundred fifty-three, five thousand eight hundred fifty-four…"<p>

"Yasu, please shut up," Monk said.

"Five thousand eight hundred fifty-five…That's the fifteenth time you've told me to shut up."

"For good reason."

The rain was still in downpour-mode, every time they thought that it was starting to lighten up, another burst would come. At some point they all had to haul the washtub out to empty the water that had gathered, and Monk realized the hard way that Yasu could barely lift something that heavy and had sloshed water all over Monk's shoes.

"It's not my fault. I'm a dedicated student; I don't go lifting weights every night."

"So I've noticed."

"Come on guys; let's not start any arguments here," John said, smiling at both of them.

"You're right. I'm sorry, John." Yasu nodded, making John a little worried that he might be planning something.

"What time is it?" Monk asked.

"Only five minutes after you last asked that..." Yasu checked his watch, "Twelve-thirteen a.m."

Monk made a disgusted sound and pulled his knees up, his shoes making squishing sounds as he moved his feet.

"Why don't you fall asleep? There's enough room for you to lie down," Yasu said.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to sleep in the same tent as you."

"What a terrible thing to say," Yasu said, wiping away a fake tear.

"I don't feel any pity."

"You wouldn't. There was a study that people start losing their compassion as they get older."

"Don't. Start. That."

"You can take the last sleeping bag if you want. Just don't be alarmed if I try to crawl in with you in the middle of the night."

Monk shook his head, "I worry about you sometimes, kid."

"Hey," Yasu's eyebrows furrowed.

"Just being honest."

"Even so, I think we could fit two people into one sleeping bag."

They were both silent. John was going slightly red at the ears.

"Yeah, but it'd be hard to do anything that close but sleep," Monk smirked.

John put his hand over his eyes, the blush creeping into his neck and cheeks.

"…Sorry, John," Monk said.

"Well, we wouldn't have to close the zipper all the way. Besides, two bodies in an enclosed area would produce enough heat," Yasu said.

"Ah-hem…" John coughed, his eyes still covered.

"…Sorry, John," Yasu said, grinning over John's head to an equally grinning Monk.

"Yeah, that would work. Or maybe, instead of lying side by side…" Monk said, rubbing his chin as if he was giving the matter thought.

"—I get to be on top," Yasu said.

"Guys!" John snapped, using a sharp tone of voice that they had never heard him use before.

"…Sorry, John," they both said in unison.

All that prevailed over the silence was the rain and the water dripping into the tub.

"Yasu," Monk said dangerously, "I hope you know I was joking about everything I said earlier. Quit touching me."

"Eh? I'm all the way over here."

"…Then what is…?" Monk twisted around and grabbed at the darkness behind him, grabbing at something smooth. He pulled up a snake.

"HOLY HELL!" He yelled, jumping forward and getting out of the tent. The other two were not far behind.

Standing at the door of the tent, they were all immediately drenched.

The tent was softly aglow from where Yasu had dropped his flashlight. They could see the form of the snake moving around it, the light making its shadow bigger then it had been.

"Go kill it," Yasu ordered, looking at Monk.

Monk gave him a side-ways glance, "If you can tell me it's not poisonous."

"There's a way to tell that…something with the shape of the eyes or the head… I don't remember which."

"Let it bite you and we'll see."

"Come on, calm down," John said, his hair plastered to his face.

"Aren't you, like, from Australia, John? Can't you kill a snake?" Monk asked, pulling up the hood of his coat.

"Well…I can kill them with a shovel, but I've never killed one with my bare hands if that's what you're asking."

"You've never killed a snake with your bare hands." Monk rolled his eyes, "Don't you people wrestle kangaroos? Shouldn't you have been able to tell if it was poisonous?"

"Where did you get that idea! And I didn't get a good look at it, it was too dark!"

"Okay, let's not argue," Yasu said to them.

Monk was eyeing up the little log cabin. "Why doesn't this thing have a porch?"

"Why don't you build one," John muttered.

"What do I look like to you, a survivalist?

"Not in the least."

John and Monk glared at each other until the other member of their team interrupted them.

"…What…was that?" Yasu said.

Behind them, they could hear the footfalls of something…big.

"Dammit," Monk said. John watched as he started to climb the nearest tree.

"If it's a bear, it can climb trees, you know," John said.

"That's why you're staying down there. It can eat you first."

The footfalls abruptly stopped.

The other two climbed the tree after Monk.


	3. The Ghost Did It

Title: …The Ghost Did It

Word Count: 1,223

* * *

><p>"If that thing tries to climb the tree, then I'm going to throw you down to it, kid," Monk said.<p>

Yasu wanted to say he was joking, but he sounded awfully serious.

They could hear whatever the animal was slowly starting to walk away.

"I'm glad we aren't still in the tent. It probably would've come in," Yasu said.

The light in the tent flickered.

"Oh, the battery must be dying," Yasu mumbled.

"Hey, it stopped raining!" John said, readjusting himself on the branch.

"Wow, how wonderful," Monk said. It sounded like he didn't care anymore.

It started as a light breeze, but slowly picked up pace until it felt like a tornado was starting to brew.

And it felt like they had been stuck into a freezer because of their wet clothes.

"I'm…f-f-freezing…" Yasu said. His glasses were all fogged.

"You're not the only one," Monk said, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to preserve as much body heat as possible.

"If we snuggle up together, I'm sure we'll be warmer."

"You are a pervert, did you know that?"

The wind was sharp and fast, and thus the tree started to shake.

"Eep!" Yasu said, almost slipping on the wet branches.

"Ow!" Monk gritted his teeth as he knocked off the branch that had hit him on the head.

"Shit!" John yelled. The other two looked at him in absolute shock.

The two forgot all about their discomfort. Monk grinned. "What did you say?"

"The damn microphone fell over!" John said.

"Oh!" Yasu saw that the microphone had indeed toppled over in the tent. "It's going to get wet," he said.

"Go set it back up," Monk said.

"I don't know how!"

"I'll direct you from here."

"Would you two be quiet?" John said, climbing down the tree. Monk followed after him.

"I'll stay here..." Yasu said, "…Or maybe I'll come down," he added after Monk and John's death glare.

"Don't forget about the snake," Monk said as they started to push the microphone back up from outside the tent. They could see the curled up form of the snake close by the flashlight.

"The washtub is going to need to be emptied," Yasu said.

It took a lot of dragging and careful not-going-too-far-into-the-tent, but they managed to dump it again without disrupting the snake too much. The thing was practically wrapped around the flashlight.

After John set the tub back, they started back for the tree. Only to see the microphone fall again.

"We need to get some rocks to keep it up," Monk said.

"In the dark?" Yasu asked.

"Unless you're volunteering to get the flashlight."

"No, I guess not…"

They all split up. Monk came back first with some football sized rocks. He pushed the microphone back up and set the stones around it. John came back with some similar sized rocks.

As they were setting them down, Monk asked, "Where'd Yasu go?"

"Who cares?" John said.

Monk snorted then spotted Yasu over John's shoulder.

"What are those?" Monk demanded, ready to pull his hair out.

"Rocks?" Yasu guessed, holding two baseball sized rocks in his hands.

"Rocks? They're pebbles," said Monk.

Yasu put them by the microphone anyway.

The wind was starting to threaten to knock them off their feet.

"Let's get back into the tree," John said.

They trudged through the wind, Yasu getting there first. He started to climb but stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Monk said.

"I think I know where that snake came from," Yasu said.

John and Monk both squinted their eyes to see a couple of slithering bodies moving in the branches.

"Dear lord…" Monk said.

John started heading back the other way.

"John?" Yasu called, "Don't blow away."

They watched as he picked up one of the baseball-sized rocks and started hitting his car's window with it.

"Finally," Monk said.

When they got to the car, John had already broken the window and was in the car. Yasu and Monk climbed into the back.

It was nice to have the wind not blowing in your face. Except it was now howling through the hole in the window and creating a dreadful sound.

John took off his jacket and managed to block out most of the wind with it.

The trio sat there in stunned silence.

"Goodnight," John said, hunkering down in the chair.

The other two still had their adrenaline rushing.

"If you're still hungry, I can pull the cooler out," Yasu said.

"No, thank you. I'm too tired…" Monk closed his eyes. Soon he was softly snoring.

Yasu sat there with no one to talk to for about five minutes. He twisted around in his chair to see if the microphone was still standing… He was pleased to see it was.

"Luck might finally be on our side now…" Yasu slouched in the seat and was asleep soon after.

_..._

The knocking on the unbroken window nearly gave them all heart attacks.

Jumping in their seats, Yasu squeaked like a girl, Monk hit his head and John was gasping.

Then they saw Lin and Naru standing outside. The sun was shining overhead.

"Is everything all right?" Naru asked as the three stepped out of the car. Sore and cramped up.

"Sure, everything is _fine_," Monk said.

"John swore," Yasu said.

John's face started to turn red.

They all turned to see that the microphone was still standing.

"Yes!" They all yelled.

"Ah-ha! Finally something went right," Yasu said.

"What happened?" Lin asked.

"That's an interesting question," Monk said.

Naru came back with the tape from the microphone in his hand.

"Was the snake still in there?" Yasu asked.

"…What?" Naru said.

"Nothing."

Lin was staring at the hole in the window. "Did you guys lock yourselves out?" he asked.

"Hm, the ghost did it…" Yasu started.

Before Monk could rat Yasu out, Naru said, "That's highly unlikely."

"…What does that mean?" John said.

"It means that Mai got the addresses mixed up and you've been at the wrong log cabin all night."

The silence between the three proceeded for nearly five minutes, with all of their mouths hanging open.

"I tried to call you to say it was fine to go into the house," Lin said. "But you wouldn't pick up."

John reached into the car and pulled out his cell. Three missed messages.

"I didn't even check it once we were in the car," he said.

"I'm going to kill Mai," said Monk.

"Yes, especially since that means you'll have to do it again tonight at the correct location," Naru said.

Monk gave Naru a tight-lipped smile, "How about this, you and Lin stay out all night and then we three will sit on our butts reviewing the data."

They both glared at each other.

"No, I don't believe so," Naru said, then headed back to the car, tape in hand.

Lin put a hand on Monk's shoulder, "Don't worry, the forecast tonight is clear, you won't have to stay."

"Nice to know," John said.

"Let's clean this up before we head out," Lin stated. He started for the tent, which concealed inside were the microphone and its electrical box, the washtub, two soaking sleeping bags and a dead flashlight, but apparently no snake.

"Did this still feel like a camping trip, kid?" Monk asked Yasu.

"Of course," Yasu said, grinning.

"You're hopeless…"


	4. I Wish the Tape Had Gotten Wet

Title: I Wish the Tape Had Gotten Wet

Word Count: 164

* * *

><p>Monk, Yasu and John had, understandably, taken the rest of that day off.<p>

When they got into the S.P.R the next morning, they saw Lin reviewing the data from the correct house that was recorded last night…or so that's what it originally looked like.

The strange thing was that the three girls were gathered around Lin, listening to whatever it was.

"Oh, no," Monk whispered.

"What?" Yasu said back just as softly.

"It can't be…" Monk lamented.

"What?" John said.

"_Yasu_," – They heard Monk's voice coming from the speakers – "_I hope you know I was joking about everything I said earlier. Quit touching me."_

"_Eh? I'm all the way over here." _Yasu's voice said.

_"…Then what is...HOLY HELL!"_

When the girls realized that they had come in, Mai gave them a huge grin. "Sounds like you guys had a fun night."

"I'm going to kill you, Mai; it all happened because of you," Monk said.

"Careful, Monk, this is the kinda stuff people can use as blackmail."

Masako and Ayako twisted around to look at them. Both of them giggled behind their hands.

"I'm leaving," Monk said, heading back out the door.

"Right behind you," John said.

"Wait for me!" Yasu said, running after them.

_***.*.***_

~Fin~


End file.
